I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The Olympian is in my bed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
