hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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