You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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