She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
