genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
