Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
another moral hangover. fuck.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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