Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
