so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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