I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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