So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
