My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
