yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
