I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize