just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
