dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
