She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
