Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize