it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
