he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
