I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
