"it" just moved
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
