It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just found a bag of teeth...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
