he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
porn star boner night. come get it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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