hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
