Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize