I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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