Kiss
Puke
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
