Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
