Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
