So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Randomize
