this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
