yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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