if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
tell your sister to shave her snatch
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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