i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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