how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
