This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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