We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
