I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
