I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
