he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
