maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
