I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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