Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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