theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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