Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
