You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
