anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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