Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
