Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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