i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
