My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
