So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize