id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
