I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
