at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
