Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
