is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
