this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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