as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
