Me too!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize