It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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