Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
