We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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