Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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