i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
