; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
