One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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