Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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