I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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