it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
