I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
