you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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