I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it's like heaven, but drunker
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
