Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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