i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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