she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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