I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
