real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i now understand why vodka
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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