Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
